Our model of strategic conflict begins by considering how conflict begins. Many texts would begin this chapter by talking about issues that lead to conflict.
We do not cover different issues in conflict because, with few exceptions (e.g., disagreement about household labor; e.g., Kluwer, Heesink, & van de Vliert, 1997), issues of conflict do not matter as much as how conflict is managed.
Instead, we discuss the crucibles of conflict—locations where the catalyst of incompatibilities can ignite interpersonal arguments.Research suggests that people can gain more episodic control by knowing the crucibles for conflict and strategically accounting for them. People often think that another person causes their problems and that they have little agency in how conflict emerges. This is simply not true. Parties to conflict indeed have agency in how conflict emerges and how they manage conflict right off the bat. By being more mindful of conflict instigators, you can anticipate them and strategically change them (if you wish).
At the same time, we do not underestimate the initial shock that people experience when confronted by someone else. Conflict is often negative. Anger, frustration, defensiveness, disappointment, resentment are a few of the normal responses we have to another person’s negative behaviors. These are some of the crucibles for conflict.
Our objective in this chapter is to identify several factors that constitute crucibles for escalating and possibly destructive conflict. First, we focus on the effects of alcohol. Next we analyze moods and emotions, specifically anger and depression. Third we discuss how stress promotes conflict. Finally, we discuss environmental factors that lead to conflict. The reader will discover that these instigators can work alone or in combination and how strategic conflict can change the mindless influence of these instigators.