Shared Activities and Conflict
Shared activities also act as “shock absorbers” during conflict (Orthner, 1975, p. 93). Sampling participants from 11 countries, Varga (1972) reported a strong and negative correlation between the amount ofjoint activities and divorce.
Partners who perceive more joint activities are more likely to experience higher levels of marital satisfaction and quality but lower levels of marital distress and separation (Hill, 1988; Locke, 1951; Orthner, 1975; Orthner & Mancini, 1990, 1991; Smith, Snyder, & Monsma, 1988).Several researchers have examined the link between shared activities and conflict in marriage. Findings support the idea that jointly shared activities act as a buffer against relational tensions and conflict. For example, Hill (1988) observed that couples can decrease the amount of conflict if they increase shared activities. Likewise, Waller and Mclanahan (2005) found that low levels of conflict and high levels of shared activities increase partner commitment. Similarly, Crawford, Houts, Huston, and George (2002) found that engaging in shared activities suppressed individuals’ desire to pursue independent activities. However, if couples pursue activities that only one partner enjoys, more conflict can emerge (Crawford et al., 2002). Additionally, Orden and Bradburn (1968) found that the happiest couples experienced few tensions but engaged in several interactive activities; couples with high tension cannot offset lower levels of happiness unless they have high levels of interactive-based shared activities.
As suggested above, certain forms of shared activity appear more beneficial than others. Excitement appears to make the heart grow fonder—not the mere presence of the partner. Aron and colleagues differentiated between “exciting” or “challenging” shared activities versus “mundane” shared activities. They found that engaging in exciting activities (vs. mundane ones) brought about significantly higher levels of relational quality and satisfaction (Aron, Norman, & Aron, 2000; Aron, Norman, McKenna, & Heyman, 2001). Challenging and novel activities in particular increase satisfaction (Aron, Norman, Aron, & Lewandowski, 2002). Strong and Aron (2006) pointed out that, “when the couple is no longer engaging in a novel and challenging activity, positive affect is reduced and conflict returns” (p. 354). This research implies that couples should engage in exciting, challenging, novel activities.