Celibacy vs. Married Life
The teaching of the ascetic Paul in the Acts of Paul and Thecla is summarized as “the word of God concerning continence (εγκράτεια) and the resurrection” (ch.
5). This is not the only writing that portrays Paul as a preacher of asceticism combined with an eschatological message; in the canonical Acts, Paul is said to discuss “justice, self-control (εγκράτεια), and the comingjudgment” with the Roman governor Felix (Acts 24:2425). Surely both asceticism and eschatology belonged to Paul’s teaching, seen especially in his discussion concerning marriage, virgins, and widows in 1 Corinthians. The series of beatitudes in the Acts of Paul and Thecla (chs. 5-6) that emphasize celibacy and promise eschatological rewards for those who stay celibate - be they married or not - echo Paul’s teaching in several ways.[1094] But in his insistence on a total renunciation of marriage the author goes well beyond Paul who advises married couples not to abandon their sexual relations except by common agreement for a certain period of time (1 Cor 7:2-5). This, however, is more of a concession on his part (v. 6); he does not conceal his wish that everyone would stay unmarried like he is (v. 7). This ambivalence gave space not only to the preachers of asceticism to promote it in Paul’s name but also to the straightforward assumption of the pastoral letters that every Christian should have a family.In early Christian discussions about marriage and celibacy, Paul’s discussion in 1 Corinthians 7 was often taken to mean that marriage as such was good but celibacy was even better.[1095] Marriage was understood as one marriage, only without permission to remarry if widowed. Second marriage was largely condemned, even though presumably widely practiced.[1096] For example, Justin Martyr writes in his 1 Apology: “So that all who, by human law, are twice married are in the eye of our Master sinners, and those who look upon a woman to lust after her” (1 Apol.
15:5).[1097] According to him, marriage is permitted but sexual intercourse is only appropriate for procreation. Remaining unmarried is an even better option; Justin boasts that he knows both men and women in their 60s and 70s who have been celibate from childhood on (1 Apol. 15:6). Both the married and the unmarried Christian share the same ideal, to stay continent (eveyKpa- Teuopai). Justin declares: “But whether we marry, it is only that we may bring up children; or whether we decline marriage, we live continently” (1 Apol. 29:1).No matter how ascetically inclined, most early Christian writers did not want to dispense with marriage altogether. After all, Christian communities were based on households, and too rigorous asceticism would erode the social order.[1098] Justification for abandoning excessive ascetic behavior was also found in the Pauline teaching. The author of 1 Timothy, then believed to have been Paul himself, warns against evil teachers who “forbid marriage and demand abstinence from foods” (1 Tim 4:3). But the common explanation was to assign marriage to “ordinary” Christians while sexual abstinence was the ideal for those who wanted to strive for perfection. Some writers, however, valued marriage more highly. Clement of Alexandria, for example, stresses that both “celibacy and marriage have their distinctive services of the Lord” (Strom. 3.12.79.5; cf. 3.12.88.3) and that “the choice of celibacy or wedlock is in our power” (Strom. 3.9.66.3).[1099] For him, monogamy is the proper mean between the extremes of too strict celibacy and promiscuity.[1100] He comments with disgust how the followers of Carpocrates and Epiphanes interpret Paul’s words “no male and female” (Gal 3:28) as giving license for having women in common and extend sexual relations beyond marriage (Strom. 3.2.5-10). In advocating monogamous marriage, Clement cites the instructions in 1 Timothy that only a married man who has shown he can take care of his household is qualified for church offices (Strom.
3.12.79.5-6). Paul’s discussion of marriage as a concession, according to Clement, is really about second marriage (Strom. 3.14.3; cf. 12.82.4); he has no objections to first marriage.[1101] Furthermore, he backs up his argument by claiming that Paul himself was married (Strom. 3.6.53.1). Clement finds a basis for this view in his reading of Philippians where Paul speaks about his companion (σύζυγος; Phil 4:3), a word that often - but not exclusively - means “wife.” Most commentators, both ancient and modern, take the word as a reference to one of Paul’s coworkers in Philippi or to the community as a whole.Another example of a writer who vacillates between celibacy and marriage is Clement’s contemporary Tertullian. He deals with the issue in several of his works (To My Wife, Exhortation to Chastity, On Monogamy).[1102] On the one hand, he demonstrates a clear preference for abstinence (To My Wife 1.3.2; On Monogamy 3.1-4), noting that when Paul gives his concession to marry he speaks in his own name (“I say”; 1 Cor 7:8-9) but when he instructs widows to stay celibate, he speaks in the name of the Spirit (“I too have the Spirit of God”, 1 Cor 7:40). On the other hand, he praises monogamy as the happy medium between immorality and excessive celibacy: “Heretics do away with marriages; psychics accumulate them. The former marry not even once; the latter not only once” (On Monogamy 1.1). This may be due to the fact that it is expressly the practice of second marriage that he wants to fight against. A difficult verse for him is Paul’s allowance of widows to remarry (“A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord;” 1 Cor 7:39). Tertullian insists that Paul cannot contradict himself and that is why the statement cannot mean what it seems to mean and how it is understood by those Christians he calls “psychics.” In his reading, Paul’s teaching only applies to those Christian women who have been married to a non-Christian and widowed prior to their conversion to Christianity (On Monogamy 11.15-19).
Despite these champions of monogamy, several early Christian authors write to demonstrate that virginity was the highest calling of a Christian. Cyprian, for example, who was active in Carthage a generation after Ter- tullian, barely mentions marriage in his writings.[1103] Instead, he praises virgins and continence and devotes a whole treatise, On the Dress of Virgins, to consecrated virgins. Another admirer of virginity is Methodius, writing in the end of third century in Olympus (Asia Minor). His treatise entitled Symposium, modeled after Plato’s renowned work, describes a symposium of ten virgins. They gather in the garden of Arete where each gives a speech in praise of virginity.[1104] [1105] One of the ten virgins is Thecla. Paul plays a prominent role in the work and each of the ten speeches either alludes to or explicitly quotes his letters. Even though virginity is praised as something “supernaturally great, wonderful, and glorious” (Symposium 1.1), it does not belie marriage; “for although the moon may be greater than the stars, the light of the other stars is not destroyed by the moonlight” (Symposium 2.1; cf. 2.7). After all, virginity is a gift of God, not suitable for everyone (Symposium 3.14). At the end of the day, Arete announces Thecla the winner of the contest for the most eloquent talk on virginity and she may lead the other virgins in singing in praise of the bridegroom. On the whole, it is hard to estimate how widespread celibacy was among early Christian women. Certainly, there were ascetics who adhered to celibacy even before the rise of monasticism[1106] but it is fair to assume that most early Christian women did get married and lived a domestic life[1107] - and bore children, new members for the Christian communities. Most women who were active in Christian gatherings were wives and mothers. Moreover, no category was entirely fixed in the sense that most women were both virgins and wives at some period in their life. In theory at least, the rules and ideals of virginity applied to every woman until she got married. But the change of status also worked the other way around since many women adopted an ascetic way of life by taking a vow of chastity after they were widowed.[1108] G.