Humility and romantic love are two major positive attitudes toward other people. Humility expresses a general attitude toward all people, while romantic love is a unique attitude toward a specific person (or several people).
A central issue in both attitudes is how to treat people properly despite significant differences among them.
Both attitudes reduce the weight of the comparative concern while increasing the weight of a noncomparative framework.
There is a difference, however: the beloved has a unique, preferable status that is hardly comparable with other people.Within the framework of judging the beloved, we find two major scales. One is a nonrelational scale, which evaluates the beloved's properties, such as appearance, wisdom, wealth, and sense of humor. These qualities stand on their own, independent of interactions with the lover.The second scale is a relational scale, which refers to the suitability of the beloved to the lover; for example, their conflicts, communication, and ability to bring out the best in each other.As in the case of humility, the noncomparative scale measuring suitability is of greater importance than the comparative one. Nevertheless, in light of the greater sensitivity of romantic love to personal and environmental factors, its comparative concern has a certain role as well. Comparison in love is not everything, and it is not even the most important thing. But, comparison is not completely valueless—it has some impact upon us.
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