Expectation ViolationZConfirmation
Individuals often develop expectations for how people will act in a given situation. Expectancy violation theory assumes that when a person’s actions violate an expectation, individuals become aroused, search for explanations for the violation, and then react often by attempting to bring the person’s behavior back into alignment with expectations (e.g., Afifi & Burgoon, 2000).
This implies that a partner’s action may prompt a conflict when it violates a prior expectation. Bachman and Guerrero (2006) used this framework to study how individuals respond to hurtful events. The degree to which individuals reported that their partner engaged in a hurtful behavior that was unusually harmful was negatively related to responding in a constructive manner and to their perceptions of relational quality but positively related to responding in a destructive fashion and terminating the relationship. They also found statistically significant bivariate correlations between their measure of negative expectancy violation and relational uncertainty, perceived intentionality, and hurtfulness.However, simply because a partner’s behavior is consistent with expectations does not mean that conflict will be avoided. Some individuals form negative expectations that can lead to conflict when confirmed. Individuals with an anxious attachment style often expect that their partners may abandon them and monitor their partner’s behaviors for signs of rejection (Fraley & Shaver, 2000). Consequently, individuals who are anxiously attached may be especially sensitive to and possibly exaggerate cues of rejection. Anxiously attached individuals perceived more conflict in their relationships, are more distressed by relational conflict, and are more prone to escalate it than are those who are not anxiously attached (Campbell, Simpson, Boldry, & Kashy, 2005).
Among husbands and wives, attachment anxiety is positively related to the extent of conflict they report in their marriage, and the extent to which wives are anxiously attached is negatively related to their own and their husband’s marital satisfaction, and this relationship is mediated by both spouse’s perceptions of marital conflict (Brassard, Lussier, & Shaver, 2009).Domingue and Mollen (2009) focused on the degree to which both relational partners had an insecure or secure attachment style that influenced conflict. As expected, constructive responses to conflict were more common when both partners were securely attached than when only one was secure or when both were insecure. Also, destructive communication and avoidance were less frequent in dyads in which both partners were securely attached than when only one or neither was.
The results of research focused on expectations are somewhat complex. In some cases, if expectations are violated, then conflict will emerge, but in other cases, confirmed expectations seem to stimulate disagreement. In part, this may reflect the valence of the expectation. When positive expectations are violated (i.e., the partner acts negatively when expected to act positively or the action is more negative than usual), then intensely negative reactions occur. When negative expectations are confirmed (i.e., the partner acts in an expected negative manner), disagreement and negative reactions also result. It is possible that the two instances involve different mediating process. Violated positive expectations may cause individuals to feel betrayed and uncertain about their partners. However, because the violation was infrequent, it might be possible to grant forgiveness. Confirmed negative expectations may have little effect or may actually increase certainty about the partner since he or she acted as expected, although some individuals may still lose patience with the constant provocations that increase their frustration and tendency to escalate the conflict.