Other Unique Aspects of Family Communication

In addition to FCP, there are other unique characteristics of family relationships that make family conflict different from other interpersonal conflict. Among the most impor­tant characteristics are the high degree of intimacy of family relationships, the interde­pendence of family members, and the long his­tory of family relationships and their ongoing and open-ended nature.

Family relationships are among the most intimate interpersonal relationships, typically characterized by genuine affect and care for each other (Vangelisti, 2004). Thus, the expe­rience of conflict communication itself can lead to the realization of divergent interests and, therefore, independent from its par­ticular outcomes, can be stressful to family members. As a result, family members should be more motivated than individuals in other types of relationships to avoid communicat­ing their conflict. In addition, when they are communicating during conflict, they should also be more motivated to facilitate each others’ goals and, consequently, be more collaborating in their conflicts. At the same time, however, family members might come to expect more acquiescence from each other and react to any type of resistance from fam­ily members with more negative affect than individuals in other types of relationships. In either case, conflict is likely to be experienced more emotionally intensely in families than in other types of relationships.

Family members are also highly interdepen­dent on one another, and they control many of the interpersonal resources that individuals strive for. Love, affection, status, informa­tion, assistance, advice, and social support are among the many immaterial resources that most persons receive primarily from their family members (Dainton & Zelley, 2006). As such, any particular conflict among family members takes place in the context of multiple interdependencies that are related to other manifest or latent conflicts.

Finally, family relationships are different from most other interpersonal relationships in that they have long histories and are essentially open ended. Conflicts often mani­fest over the course of many interactions that occur between family members. In mar­riages and families, this phenomenon has been described as “serial arguments” (Bevan, Finan, & Kaminsky, 2008; Roloff & Johnson, 2002), interactions that recur and seem to follow the same script without there being a realistic expectation for a resolution. In fami­lies, in particular, these conflicts appear to be proxies for a struggle over dominance and control in relationships, especially between parents and children (Bevan, 2009). Families can afford to engage in these prolonged and essentially indirect power struggles and other types of conflict because these conflicts do not threaten the existence of the relationship. In voluntary relationships, conflict always has the potential to break the relationships apart, which places restraints on the behavior of the conflicting parties. In families, these restraints are often missing, explaining why family con­flict is often more verbally aggressive, hostile, and more physically violent than conflict on other interpersonal relationships.