Patterns of Communication

People tend to reciprocate behavior. This norm of reciprocity holds in several domains of inquiry, including self-disclosure, liking, and conflict. In terms of behavioral patterns, dissatisfied couples tend to reciprocate com­petitive behaviors (Gottman, 1994; Schaap, 1984). Such reciprocation can reflect sym­metrical or asymmetrical exchanges. That is, people can mirror each other’s behavior or complement each other’s behavior. Gottman (1982) identified several patterns of negative symmetrical communication. These include the exchange of complaints (i.e., complaint­countercomplaint), reciprocation of negative metacommunication, and proposal-counter­proposal without any acknowledgment of the partner’s initial proposal.²