Action Tendencies Are Activated in Response to Emotion and Conflict
Appraisal theorists also believe that emotions are accompanied by certain action tendencies (Frijda, 1987; Lazarus, 1991; Scherer, 1994). Action tendencies are biologically rooted behavioral responses that help individuals cope with emotion and adapt to their environment.
According to Lazarus (1991), action tendencies are based on three characteristics that underlie a particular emotional experience: (1) affect, or the positive or negative feeling state, (2) the level and type of physiological arousal change, and (3) the core theme related to the emotion-eliciting stimulus or event (e.g., relational harm stemming from discovery of a partner’s betrayal or relational benefit stemming from receiving an unexpectedly nice gift). Different emotions are associated with various action tendencies. For example, anger is associated with attack, fear with moving away from harm, and guilt with making amends (Lazarus, 1991). To the extent that such emotions are experienced during conflict situations, various action tendencies are likely to be operative.At their foundation, action tendencies are related to whether people approach or avoid an emotion-evoking stimulus. Given that conflict is emotion laden, it is not surprising that approach and avoidance tendencies are also a prevalent dimension defining conflict styles, as shown in Figure 4.1. Typologies developed by organizational scholars (e.g., Rahim, 1986), psychologists (Klein & Johnson, 1997), and communication scholars (Sillars, Canary, & Tafoya, 2004) all include a dimension that encompasses how direct versus indirect conflict styles are, as well as how cooperative versus uncooperative they are. While the cooperativeness dimension reflects affective valence to some extent (as discussed earlier), the directness dimension captures the idea of approach versus avoid tendencies.
Conflict-Related Emotions
Scholars have proposed at least two typologies of conflict-related emotions. Within each of these typologies, emotions are classified based on key dimensions that underlie both conflict and emotion, including affect, arousal level, goal-related motives, and action tendencies related to approach and avoidance.
The first of these typologies distinguishes between hard, soft, and flat emotions. Hard emotions, which include anger, frustration, and contempt, are characterized by negative affect, high levels of arousal, and selfish motives (Christensen, Jacobson, & Babcock, 1995; Dimidjian, Martell, & Christensen, 2002). These emotions are associated with using more aggressive and controlling forms of communication, such as criticism and defensiveness, as well as less positive forms of communication, such as active listening and calm discussion (Maldonado, 2009; Sanford, 2007b). S oft emotions, such as hurt and sadness, reflect vulnerability and prosocial motives (e.g., Christensen et al., 1995) and stem from feeling loss or psychological injury (Shaver, Schwartz, Kirson, & O’Connor, 1987; Vangelisti & Sprague, 1998). Although soft emotions appear to be associated with small increases in negative communication, they can also elicit empathy, increase positive communication, and foster conflict resolution (Sanford, 2007b). Finally, flat emotions, such as apathy and disinterest, are rooted in negative affect and low levels of arousal and are related to withdrawal, decreased positive communication, and relationship dissatisfaction (Maldonado, 2009; Sanford, 2007a).
The second typology includes four sets of emotions that are distinguished by whether they are self- or other-focused and whether the associated action tendency is to approach or avoid (Bell & Song, 2005). Emotions falling under h ostility are self-focused and approach oriented. These emotions “typically arise in response to threats or failure to achieve one’s goals, desires, or rights” and then draw an individual toward whomever or whatever caused them to feel that way (Bell & Song, 2005, p.
34). Relational positivity includes other- focused emotions that are approach oriented. These emotions, which include respect, fondness, and empathy, are associated positively with integrating, compromising, and obliging conflict strategies (Bell & Song, 2005). Selfconscious emotions, such as embarrassment, guilt, and humiliation, are self-focused and withdrawal oriented. These emotions are also social in that they occur during or in response to interpersonal interactions. Finally, Bell and Song (2005) conceptualized fearful emotions as “apprehension related to troubling or hurting the other party” (p. 36). These emotions are focused on the partner and are related to avoidant tendencies.Hard emotions and hostility are the only two categories that are similar across these typologies. Thus, when these two typologies are combined, there are six categories of conflict-related emotion that can be labeled as (1) hostile, (2) vulnerable, (3) flat, (4) positive, (5) self-conscious, and (6) fearful. Placing the emotions that people experience during conflict into categories such as these may be essential for advancing theory on emotional communication. As Nabi (2010) argued, understanding the specific patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are associated with particular types of emotion can provide insight into what types of communication are most effective in a given situation. She gives the example of using different words to calm someone down depending on whether that person is “in an angry, sad or fearful state” (Nabi, 2010, p. 155). For instance, if someone shows anger and hostility during a conflict episode, expressing remorse and acknowledging wrongdoing may be good strategies since anger is often about blame. On the other hand, fearful emotions may signal that there are issues related to power and control that need to be resolved, so having a conversation around these issues “might help calm [the] one who is frightened” (Nabi, 2010, p. 155). In line with this reasoning, the communication patterns related to each of the six conflict-related emotions identified above are discussed next.