Cognitive Appraisals and Attributions Are Part of Emotion- and Conflict-Related Processes

Cognition is vital in the interpretation of emotion-eliciting events (Omdahl, 1995), including conflict. People make sense of emotion-inducing events by making primary appraisals that involve assessing affective valence and relevancy (e.g., How does the event influence one’s personal goals and one’s identity? Does the event make it easier or more difficult to obtain those goals?) and sec­ondary appraisals that involve labeling emo­tions, determining their causes, and developing effective coping strategies (Lazarus, 1991).

Attributions about the source of conflict and the partner’s behavior also influence communication. According to Sillars (1980), people make communicative decisions during conflict based on attributions in three areas: the cause of the conflict, the intentions or per­sonality traits of their partner, and the stability of the conflict. These attributions then influ­ence the behaviors and strategies people enact during a conflict episode. In addition, peo­ple tend to make more positive attributions about their own behavior than their partner’s behavior during conflict (Sillars, 1980; Sillars, Roberts, Leonard, & Dun, 2000), which contributes to misinterpretation and misun­derstanding. Not surprisingly, people in dissat­isfying relationships generally experience more misperception, misunderstanding, and nega­tive emotion during conflict than do people in satisfying relationships (Sillars et al., 2000; Sillars & Scott, 1983). Specifically, Sillars et al. (2000) found that angry, frustrated, and blaming thoughts were more prevalent during severe conflicts and in unhappy relationships.