Issue 3: Understanding the Role of Flat Emotion in Withdrawal Patterns
The conflict literature is replete with references to avoidant behavior, withdrawal, and stonewalling. Yet with only a few notable exceptions (e.g., Gottman, 1994), researchers have not discussed how these responses may be governed, at least partially, by emotion.
Yet flat emotions such as apathy and disinterest are associated with avoidant communication as well as low levels of constructive communication (Maldonado, 2009; Sanford, 2007a). This suggests that flat emotions could help predict when demand-withdrawal patterns (Christensen & Heavey, 1990) or stonewalling (Gottman, 1994) ensue. Indeed, the demandwithdrawal conflict pattern is one of the most researched aspects of conflict communication. This sequence involves one person demanding and the other person withdrawing, in either order, with the demanding person becoming increasingly aggressive in response to the partner’s continuing withdrawal, and the withdrawing person becoming increasingly avoidant in response to the partner’s continuing demands. One of the most accepted and empirically supported explanations for this pattern is that the person in the demanding position wants change, whereas the person in the withdrawing position wants to maintain the status quo (Sagrestano, Heavey, & Christensen, 2006). Emotions may provide a complementary, or perhaps mediating, explanation. Individuals who are in the demanding position may indeed want change, but the desire for change may be fueled by hostile emotions such as frustration, anger, or jealousy that are related to approach tendencies. In contrast, individuals in the withdrawing position may feel flat emotions that are related to avoidant tendencies, such as disinterest and apathy, because their goals are not being interrupted, except by their partner who wants change. Flat emotions could also play a role in the cascade model. Chronic stonewalling may only occur when emotional flooding has dissipated and individuals instead feel a sense of apathy and perhaps even hopelessness toward dealing with their partner.
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