The Relationship Between Family Conflict and Family Violence
One aspect of family conflict that is often overlooked is that of family violence. Although family conflict does not necessarily lead to
family violence, the two are clearly related in that family violence is usually preceded by (nonviolent) conflict.
In families that experience violence, the role of conflict in family violence is often that of a necessary but not sufficient condition, in so far that without conflict, there would be no family violence. In these families, physical violence is the continuation of interpersonal conflict by different means. Not all family violence, however, is necessarily preceded by conflict. Some forms of violence, such as consistent psychological, physical, or sexual abuse are a function of the predatory personality of a family member and/ or the abusive nature of a family relationship and are more a cause of conflict than a consequence of it. Because this type of violence is qualitatively different from violence that occurs in the context of family conflict, it will not be further considered in the present discussion.One way to formalize the relationship between nonviolent and violent family conflict is to conceptualize family conflict in general as existing along a continuum of intensity, from low-intensity problem solving at the one pole to high-intensity physical fighting at the other pole (e.g., Straus, 1990, 1994). In this conceptualization, violent family conflict can be explained as a function of the same factors that make nonviolent family conflict more intense. Factors that have been associated with increased intensity of conflict have been a greater involvement, that is, personal or relational significance of the conflict issues and frustration resulting from the process of conflict communication itself (Donohue & Kolt, 1992). For example, conflict intensity might increase because the conflict involves a family member’s needs rather than interests, where needs are defined as tied to personal and identity goals, whereas interests are defined as tied to instrumental goals.
Alternatively, intensity can increase because one or more parties in the conflict get frustrated with the process of conflict communication (Gottman, 1991), or the process itself threatens important needs, such as positive and negative face (Brown & Levinson, 1987).Fortunately, family members can avoid violence in such circumstances by learning certain communication behaviors that prevent conflict from escalating in intensity. Essentially, these are the same strategies that are recommended for communicating during interpersonal conflict in general, for example, those laid out by Donohue and Kolt (1992). First, family members can learn to avoid framing conflict issues in terms of needs and instead frame them in terms of interests. Second, family members should make conflict manifest by acknowledging differences in goals or perceived goal blockage. Third, family members should stress their interdependence by seeking solutions that enhance rather than diminish the relationship. Fourth, family members should remain flexible in their means to achieve solutions. Finally, family members should be committed to all family members achieving their goals, which is particularly important given the inherent power differences between parents and children.
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