Consequences of Family Conflict

Although family conflict undoubtedly affects all family members and the effects of marital conflict are well studied (see Caughlin, Vangelisti, & Mikucki-Enyart, this volume), the effects of parent-child and sibling conflict on parents are not well understood.

The outcomes of family conflict for chil­dren, in contrast, are much better researched. Historically, children have been cast in the role of passive victims more than in the role of active participant in, or even instigators of, family conflict. This position is not without its problems, but as a result, at least there is a large body of knowledge about the correlates of family conflict and children outcomes. Generally speaking, to the extent to which families engage in conflict communication defined as destructive, hostile, or even violent, family conflict is associated with negative out­comes for children. In contrast, to the extent to which families engage in constructive con­flict that is rational and focused on problem solving, family conflict is associated with posi­tive outcomes for children, and in particular adolescents.

Family conflict has negative consequence for adolescents (Smetana et al., 1991), but younger children especially are affected by family conflict (Rhoades, 2008). Young chil­dren who are exposed to intense, destructive parental conflict experience fear, sadness, and anger (Cummings, Iannotti, & Zahn-Waxler, 1985) and feel less safe and less secure in the home and outside the family (Gordis, Margolin, & John, 2001). In addition to negative psychological outcomes, children of families that frequently engage in destructive conflict also experience problems in their peer and sibling relationships. For example, Jenkins (2000) reported that intense parental conflict is associated with children’s greater aggres­sion and anger in relationships with teachers and peers, and Noller (1995) reported a cor­relation between intense parental and sibling conflict. Finally, Campione-Barr and Smetana (2010) report that greater frequency and intensity of sibling conflict is associated with lower quality of sibling relationships.

The processes by which parental conflict causes these negative outcomes for children are not exactly known. One possible explana­tion is that most of the psychological effects and some of the social effects stem from the fact that important security needs that the children have in their relationships with their parents are unmet when parents have frequent conflict, and the negative psychological con­sequences are the result of these unmet needs (Lindsey, Caldera, & Tankersley, 2009). The social effects, by contrast, are the result of poor parental modeling of communication skills that leads children to behave poorly in their relationships outside the family. In other words, children can acquire poor conflict and other communication skills in their families and, as a consequence, have poorer relation­ships with others.

Similar causal processes are responsible for the positive outcomes children experience when exposed to constructive parental conflict communication. These children experience both psychological and social benefits from their parents’ problem-solving skills.

Although the psychological and social bene­fits seem to be derived through different causal processes, in all likelihood, they are very much intertwined and reinforce one another. In par­ticular, the psychological effects of children’s relationships with their parents have long been supposed to be of paramount importance for all social relationships that children have. This means that children who are secure in their relationships with their parents are also more secure in their relationships with others, and children who feel unloved or even threatened in their relationship with their parents feel insecure in their relationships with others. A theoretical explanation of the effect of the parent-child relationship on children’s other social relationships is provided by attachment theory (Bartholomew, 1990; Bowlby, 1973; Hazan & Shaver, 1987, 1994; Shaver & Hazan, 1988, 1994).

An alternative explanation to attachment theory is that of shared family communica­tion schemata, which are disproportionably determined by parents (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2002a). For example, Reiss (1981) has demon­strated that parents’ perceptions of the world and their communication behavior have pro­found impact on how families, and in particular adolescents, perceive their social environment and their family’s role in it.

Although it is unclear at this point in time how, or even if, attachment styles and family communication schemata are related, it is probable that both simultaneously and inde­pendently mediate the relationship between family conflict and children’s mental health and social competence. Attachment styles mediate the relationship between conflict and child adjustment, because when conflict undermines secure attachment of children to their parents, it leads children to develop mental models of self or others that diminish children’s well-being and simultaneously their ability to relate well to others. Family com­munication schemata mediate the relationship between conflict and child adjustment because they affect the type of conflict behavior chil­dren are likely to employ in their relationships within and outside the family. To the extent that these behaviors are positive, they will lead to good interpersonal relationships. To the extent that these behaviors are negative, they will lead to poor interpersonal relationships.