SUPPORT, WHEN POSSIBLE

“Help” and “support” are simply two different ways in which people might assist one another. Providing assistance is, in a sense, the “fuel” that drives the success of small groups and larger social systems.

We define help as “doing something so that another person need not do it.” Quite obviously, providing help is often a fine thing to do in that it can make the situation of the recipient easier. In addition, receiving help is usually appre­ciated and that sentiment can enhance our interactions. Help, then, is “comfort­inducing” assistance.

Support means “contributing to a person’s capacity.” And (perhaps obviously), we intend the notion of “capacity” very broadly. I would include such things as creativity, contribution, commitment, or productivity. When support is offered (and is successful, which is certainly not always to be expected), the recipient becomes stronger, or in some other way, more effective at whatever it is that he or she hopes to achieve. Support, then, is “strength-building” assistance.

Before we explore these concepts further, it is important to say that though they are central to my practice, they are, by no means of my creation. Indeed, these are ancient ideas. Perhaps most familiar is the parable of the fish: “Give someone a fish, and they eat for a day. Teach someone to fish and they eat for a lifetime.” This tells us something about fundamental characteristics of help and support.

I am drawn even more strongly to the description offered by the twelfth­century philosopher-physician Maimonides Rambam. He taught that there were twelve levels of holiness of charitable giving in the eyes of God. The holiest of these is to “Teach someone to do something so that they are no longer dependent upon you.” There is something beautiful about that description, but perhaps more important here is that it introduces the important connection between support, help, and dependency.