Goals and Conflict

Goals and conflict are clearly connected because conflict occurs when people per­ceive that their partners in some way have goals that clash with their own. Peter­son (1989) agrees that conflict is directly related to people’s goal-related behavior.

One reason conflict situations deteriorate is that people don’t expect the con­flict. When they are confronted by their partners, people focus on communica­tion designed to defend self from the other person. This goal often leads to direct fighting strategies (Canary, Cunningham, & Cody, 1988). When people must respond quickly, because they are not prepared to be confronted, they have less attention to devote to strategy choice, so they are less likely to be polite (Ohbuchi et al., 1996).

The more intense a conflict becomes, the more emotional and the less orderly and goal-directed people become (Sillars & Weisberg, 1987). As conflicts progress and escalate in negative ways, the focus often shifts from the instrumental goal to the self-presentation goal (Schonbach, 1980).

This shift occurs because people often personalize the conflict and use nega­tive labels for the other person (Hample & Cionea, 2010; Hample & Dallinger, 1990) This unconstructive cycle is too common and causes people to become defensive because they want to protect their preferred image (Donohue & Kolt, 1992). They use messages that include counter-attacks, efforts to strengthen their identity against further attacks, and even seek support of their identity from others who might be present (Schlenker & Weingold, 1989). These negative behav­iors often then lead people to bring in relational issues, none of which relate in any way to the original instrumental goals that first motivated the discussion (Donohue & Kolt, 1992).

Conflict is inherently face-threatening, so concern for face is often central to a conflict interaction (Rogan & LaFrance, 2003). Facework can be involved in the shift during a conflict from instrumental goals to self-presentation goals. When face concerns become the primary focus, people tend to use negative strategies and tactics (Wilson & Putnam, 1990). When people perceive that someone has used verbally aggressive messages, they feel attacked and may be likely to retaliate with similar comments in an attempt to regain lost face (Infante et al., 1992). But concerns about their own face are not enough; people must recognize the role of both face protection and face support of their partner (O’Keefe & Shepherd, 1987). Arguments do not continue indefinitely, so people at some point must find ways out of arguments.

Conclusion 11.6: People value positive, mutual, and negative face, such that conflict can escalate when any of these is not honored.

Suggestion 11.8: Honor other people's positive face needs and negative face needs, and seek mutual face.

Several researchers have connected people’s goals and the conflict behaviors they choose. Canary et al. (1988) found that the type of goal communicators had influenced their use of distributive and integrative conflict tactics. These authors concluded that other researchers should consider this influence of goal types on message choice and the potential effects it might have on studies of situational dif­ferences in communication behavior. Ohbuchi and Tedeschi (1997) also found a connection between goals and tactics, especially for social goals (relational and self-presentation). When people care more about their relationship, they prefer conciliatory tactics, but when justice or hostility goals were present and relational goals were absent, they prefer assertive-aggressive tactics. Sanderson and Karetsky (2002) also found that concern about relational goals led to constructive behaviors and away from denying or avoiding. They work through the conflict through problem-solving to maintain their relationship.

People’s failure to achieve their goals also affects their communication behav­iors. If they are more committed to their goals, when faced with failure to achieve their goals, people will consider changing higher-level characteristics of their communication including content and structure of the message. However, the common tendency is for people to change the lower-level characteristics of their messages, such as volume and rate. So in a conflict, if you think the other person is blocking your efforts to achieve your goals, you will likely simply to repeat your message in a louder, faster, and more intense way than it was previously. These changes likely decrease the possibility that your goals will be achieved (Berger, Knowlton, & Abrahams, 1996).