Positive Emotions

Several positive emotions, including respect, fondness, empathy, and interpersonal warmth, can be experienced and expressed during con­flict episodes. In contrast to negative conflict emotions, which are generally elicited by an interruption of one’s goals, positive conflict emotions may arise when the prospect of cooperation suggests that one’s goals will be obtained.

These behaviors play a critical role in determining whether conflict can be man­aged effectively. Individuals who are satisfied with their relationships express more agree­ment and affection during conflict episodes (Revenstorf, Hahlweg, Schindler, & Vogel, 1984; Schaap, 1984). Levenson and his col­leagues demonstrated that individuals who report more positive affect and less negative affect are more satisfied with their marriages during and immediately following the conflict (Levenson, Carstensen, & Gottman, 1994; Levenson & Gottman, 1983) as well as 3 years later (Levenson & Gottman, 1985). Gottman (1993a) also showed that husbands displayed more affection, and wives displayed more interest and joy if they were in stable rather than unstable relationships. In a lon­gitudinal study of newly married couples (Gottman, Coan, Swanson, & Carrere, 1998), the expression of positive emotion during conflict was the sole predictor of happiness and stability 6 years later.

Research on accommodation and forgive­ness also supports the idea that expressions of positive emotion are critical for maintain­ing satisfying relationships. According to the accommodation principle, people have a natural tendency to reciprocate negativity. Accommodation occurs when individuals over­come this initial tendency and engage in coop­erative rather than uncooperative behavior. Couples who are in satisfying relationships are more likely to accommodate one another than are those in dissatisfying relationships (Rusbult, Olsen, Davis, & Hannon, 2001). Similarly, McCullough, Worthington, and Rachal (1997) found that empathy helped explain why people forgave their partners following a relational transgression. They theorized that there is a natural tendency for people to engage in avoid­ance or retaliatory behavior when they are hurt by a partner. However, if the partner apologizes and expresses remorse, the hurt individual may feel empathy and forgive the offending partner. This model of the forgiveness pro­cess implicates both positive emotion (in the form of empathy) and self-conscious emotions

(e.g., guilt and remorse) in the conflict resolu­tion process.